Proposals are Complicated
by SheeWolf85
Summary: Jacob is going to propose to Ness. But how? He has several ideas, but each one has the potential of going wrong. He just wants it to be perfect. AH, J/N, T to be safe. Complete.
1. Proposals are Complicated

A/N: Hey, everybody! *Does imitation of Simpson's doctor*

So this idea came about unexpectedly and possibly as a result of insomnia mixed with a conversation with vnsjvhgs that happened many months ago. Her idea and mine are very similar. So go read Black's Proposals as well as this story, because hers is bound to be more awesome than mine. I'm still posting this because she let me and because I spent six hours (in a row. staying up until 2am) writing it all, lol. Beware that it's bound to be a little crazy. Still, I hope you enjoy. The whole thing is already written, so I will plan to update a new (very short) chapter each day. I might get around to doing two. We'll see.

The characters aren't mine. But this was still fun to write :)

Oh, and thanks to WolfGirl1335 and vnsjvhgs for prereading this madness.

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Proposals Are Complicated

"I'm going to ask Nessie to marry me." It feels amazing to say it out loud. I'd thought about it and thought about it and thought about it some more, but to finally speak it aloud makes it seem a little more real. "Nessie is the one for me. I'm going to ask her to be my wife."

Ness and I have been dating for five years. When I first met her, we were both working part-time and going to Seattle University. She was the most beautiful redheaded gas station attendant I'd ever laid eyes on. She made fun of the car I was filling up with gas, not even caring that it was my sister's. I tried to explain that I drove a red Ford truck, not the powder-puff blue Bug with the cutesy little sunroof and rainbow charm hanging from the rearview mirror. No, that belonged to Jane, my pain-in-the-butt sister who had just gotten her license. I was only driving it because my truck was sick. I planned to have her back to full health in no time, especially after Ness tried unsuccessfully to stifle a few giggles.

At least I could say that the car had broken the ice. When I showed up with my truck—back to perfect health and running great—she asked me where the insect was. I happily told her that it was back with its rightful owner—a bubble-gum blonde chick with a nasty evil streak. She had to know how I had ended up with a tiny blonde sister. After all, I _was_ tall, dark, and handsome with all the benefits that implied. I explained that my sister was adopted after my parents found they couldn't have more children.

I ended up going to her gas station to fill up only when I knew she'd be there. I would wait and let my poor truck get too close to empty for comfort if it meant I got to talk to Ness. We started hanging out together after we realized we were both studying some of the same subjects. She told me about her family. She grew up in Washington with her brother, Jasper, and two sisters, Bella and Rosalie. Her father was helping her with tuition, but she had to cover the books herself.

A few months later, I managed to work up the guts to ask her out. She said yes, and I couldn't have been happier.

She graduated before I did. She'd gone into nursing and was accepted into a position almost the day she got her degree. I was so proud of her. She cheered me on, and eventually I got my degree and a job as a second-grade teacher.

Life continued on, and Ness and I grew closer and closer. It had been almost a week since I'd made the decision to propose.

"Nessie will be my wife," I say again.

I hear a sigh from the couch behind me, but decide to ignore it. "You've said that a hundred times already," Jane complains.

I roll my eyes. "Shut up." Once an annoying little sister, always an annoying little sister.

"Just go ask her, then."

I turn from the computer desk to glare at her. "I have to decide how first."

She scoffs. "That part's easy. Get down on one knee and say, 'Will you marry me?'"

"Sure. And what about before then? Do I feed her? Do I take her on a hike? Do I make it romantic and mushy or spontaneous and exciting?" How the heck did guys do this on a regular basis?

Jane sighs again. "Decisions, decisions."

She was no help. I turn back to the desk and look down at the list of possibilities I'd already made. I had quite a few and was looking at more online. I read through them and try to decide which one would be best.

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A/N: Thanks for reading. I'll have the next chapter up soon-ish. I'd love to know what you think :)


	2. Scenario One: Tried and True

A/N: Thanks for reading, guys.

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Scenario One

Tried and True

I think maybe I should plan something simple. Something tried and true. Something like a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant, then bust out the ring in front of everyone to show Ness my undying love and devotion.

Then I start thinking about it more. A cliché proposal would probably lead to a cliché marriage. That wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the quality of marriages in this day and age. I could see it all play out in my head.

_Ness is the most beautiful woman in the world as she steps up to me at the podium. Her dress is white and flows all around her making her look every bit the angel she is. It's amazing to know that somehow, she chose to be mine._

_The wedding is wonderful. We say our vows, say "I do," and I kiss the bride. _

"_Oh, Jacob, I'm so happy!" Ness says excitedly as we make our exit._

_I squeeze her fingers. "Me, too, Ness."_

**_*Five Seconds Later*_**

"_Oh, my God, I hate you!" Ness growls._

"_Not as much as I hate you!" I scream back._

"_I want a divorce. Right now. Better yet, maybe I'll just kill you." She picks up a huge knife that seemed to appear out of nowhere._

_Oh, shit._

Then again, maybe cliché wasn't a good idea.


	3. Scenario Two: In the Wine

A/N: Keep in mind as you read these that they were written in a fit of insomnia. I've edited them a little bit to fix any major mistakes, but overall kept them the same. Just so ya know. Thanks for reading!

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Scenario Two

In the Wine

With the idea of simplicity out of the question, I had to decide on something better. Something Ness would remember for a while. It had to be something that would set the stage for a long, happy, and healthy marriage.

A nice, lovely dinner at home. Yes, that would be great. I could even cook it, if I dared. Or maybe I'd have my sister . . . It would be better to just set the house on fire now and not have to deal with the embarrassing questions later.

Cooking plans aside, I could make the proposal with a toast. I'd drop the ring in her wine and make a toast to our relationship.

"_I love you so much, my Nessie," I say with a sappy grin on my face._

_She smiles sweetly. "I love you, too." She takes a small sip of her drink._

"_I've been thinking a lot about us recently, and I think I've made a very important decision."_

_She takes another drink. "What's that, baby?" Another drink. I'm not sure if I should be concerned. "This is really good wine, by the way." She tilts it back to gulp down the rest of it._

_I reach forward to grab her arm. "No! Ness, don't—" But it's too late. She's already swallowed it._

And this is me crossing the wine off the list.


	4. Scenario Three: Always Room for Cake

A/N: Ever wonder why authors put in an author note when there's nothing to say? Yeah, I don't get it either. Enjoy. :)

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Scenario Three

There's Always Room for Cake

If I couldn't put the ring in her wine, maybe I could make into her dessert. She's always loved cake.

"_The pork was delicious, Jake. Thank you."_

_I smile at Ness and stand up beside her. "You're welcome, baby." I bend to kiss her lips. "But there's more."_

"_More?" she asks incredulously. "How could there be more?"_

_I walk away to the kitchen and bring back two plates of my mother's famous German chocolate cake. "There's always room for cake," I say with an inviting tone._

_She laughs. "I thought that was Jell-O."_

"_Regardless. Here's your dessert."_

_She picks up her fork. "Thank you, baby."_

_She digs into her slice, and I watch for a moment before I start on mine. I can't wait for her to get to the surprise center. I'd made sure hers was the slice with it. A moment later, she stops. I expect her to say something, but instead her eyes widen and it seems like she's not breathing._

"_Are you okay, Ness?" I ask._

_She shakes her head and starts to cough. It takes me a second to realize that she's choking. Probably on the damn ring._

Memo to me: Do *NOT* put the ring in anything Ness will be ingesting.


	5. Scenario Four: Life's Like That

A/N: I was hoping I'd get to update twice yesterday, but it was such a full day I didn't have time. Oh, well. At least I got one up. I'm hoping to update a few times over the next few days and finish by Sunday or Monday. Enjoy!

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Scenario Four

Life's Like That

As I scan through my list, I see one that could work. It doesn't involve putting the ring in anything she'd actually eat. Simply inside a box with sweets. She loved chocolates.

_I'm nearly vibrating with excitement as I walk up the steps to the house with Ness on my arm. We'd had a wonderful date, and I'm eager for what will happen once we we're inside. I can tell Ness is anxious to get in as well, but somehow I can't imagine it's for the same reason._

_I unlock the door and let us in. She smiles coyly at me before she turns to skip down the hall. I reach out and grab her hand before she can disappear on me._

"_Wait a second, baby," I say softly._

_She turns to look at me with enthusiasm in her eyes. "What is it?"_

_I lead her to the living room where I hand her the box of chocolates. "For you, my sexy girlfriend." Soon to be fiancée._

_She smiles and looks down at them. Her smile falls and turns into a pout. "Baby, I can't eat these. I'm allergic to peanuts. You know that." She gives them back to me without even opening the box to see the ring or my proposal note inside._

_As she slips away from me, I look down at the chocolates. Sure enough, I'd gotten the ones with peanuts._

It would be just my luck to get the wrong kind. I run my fingers through my hair before I cross of another potential failure.


	6. Scenario Five: We're on a Boat!

A/N: I just realized this is labor day weekend. See how attentive I am? Sheesh. Thanks to the load of activities I have planned with my family this weekend and the craziness of the kid starting school on Tuesday, I am going to try to finish this story up between today and tomorrow. There are six more chapters, so I'll probably do two more today and four tomorrow. That could change, but that's my plan right now.

Thanks so much for reading! Enjoy!

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Scenario Five

We're On a Boat!

Maybe I just needed to get away from the dinner and dessert proposals altogether. The ring and food could not come in contact with each other, no matter what. I click through a few ideas online and find one I think will actually work. A cruise. The ship would sail to the Hawaiian Islands and back. It would be perfect! I could imagine a starry night on the calm sea, looking out over the moonlight reflecting on the water . . .

"_Isn't this amazing, Ness?" I ask. _

_She smiles, but it seems a little distracted. "It's beautiful."_

_I stick my hand in my pocket and finger the ring. It's still there. It would be just like me to lose it. I sigh in relief and look at my fiancée-to-be. I reach out and tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. "You're so beautiful, sweetheart. Your eyes shine brighter than the stars."_

_She smirks. "That's probably because they're watering." Her arms wrap around her stomach._

_My brow furrows. "Are you okay?"_

_She nods, but slowly changes her mind and shakes her head. "No, not really." She leans over the railing and pukes into the water. "I forgot to tell you that I get a little seasick." She leans over and vomits again._

Maybe we should stick to dry land.


	7. Scenario Six: Sky High

Scenario Six

Sky High

No open water, and no food. I'd written a hike as a possible idea on my list. Ness loved nature. We could take a drive up the mountain to an overlook at sunset.

_Nessie sat on the blanket we'd laid out and sighs happily as she watches the birds fly. My stomach's a little queasy as I watch her so close to the edge. "Hey, Ness," I say, trying to control my wavering voice. I'm not afraid of heights. I don't know what you're talking about._

_She turns her head to look back at me. I'm lounging against my truck looking like the cool son of a gun I am. "What, babe?"_

"_Come here a sec."_

_She stands up a little too quickly and starts to lose her balance—_

My heart is already in overdrive just thinking about Ness that close to the edge of a cliff. She'd be fine, of course. That girl has the balance and reaction time of a cat. But still. No mountains. Ever.


	8. Scenario Seven: Over the River

A/N: I meant to update this earlier, but then I got sidetracked and went out to my sister's and watched Batman Begins and didn't remember until I got back. It's like one-thirty in the morning right now, and I ramble when I'm tired, so go ahead and just skip over this a/n and read the longer-than-some-but-still-freakishly-short-chapter. K? K.

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Scenario Seven

Over the River and Through the Woods

If we couldn't go to the top of a mountain, maybe the side of one would be okay. Or maybe the countryside. We could even take a picnic. Expect the ring couldn't be near the food, so it would have to wait until we were done eating.

_Ness smiles happily and she tilts her face to the sun and breathes in the scent of the wildflowers all around us. She's more beautiful than any flower I've ever seen with her long red hair and feisty brown eyes. She looks at me and sighs in contentment._

"_Having fun yet?" I ask._

_Her smile expands. "Oh, yes. This is so pretty. Thank you for bringing me here." She takes a drink of her soda._

"_Thank you for coming with me." _

_She picks up her sandwich and is about to take a bite when she notices a bee sitting right where she was aiming. She screeches and drops the sandwich._

"_Oh, my God!" she screams. "I almost ate a bee!" She stands up and dances around in what I can only assume is horror. It's kind of amusing. I do my best not to laugh and get up to try to calm her down._

"_Baby, it's okay. Everything's okay."_

_If looks could kill. "No, everything is not okay! I almost ate a bug! And not just any bug; a bug with a stinger." She shudders visibly._

_I had to admit it did sound gross. "I'm sorry, honey."_

_She looks down at the picnic and almost gags. "Can we just go home? I'm not hungry anymore."_

_I shove my hand in my pocket to find the ring box. "No, wait, Ness; I have more planned."_

_She gives me the puppy dog look. "Can we do it another time, please? I'm so sorry. I just keep thinking about that thing and now I'm really nervous it's going to come back for revenge."_

_I sigh. I can't ignore her plea. The romance is gone anyway. "Yeah, we can go." I kiss her and start getting things packed up._

When nature attacks. It could happen, which meant I should probably stay indoors.


	9. Scenario Eight: Roses are Red

A/N: Only a few left to go! Thank you to everyone reading this. *hugs and kisses* Enjoy!

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Scenario Eight

Roses Are Red

Indoors it is. Maybe I could find a way to incorporate nature into the living room. On my list, I have candles and rose petals. I'd sprinkle the petals around the room and light a few candles. Scented ones, probably. She'd like the romance if the lights were dimmed as well.

_I have everything ready by the time Ness gets home from the hospital. She's tired, of course; it's been a long day. She seems surprised when none of the lights are on._

"_What's going on?" she asks._

_I smile and take her jacket for her. "Just a little something I whipped up. Come to the living room with me."_

_She smiles and kisses me before she leads the way. She gasps when she sees what I've done with the place. It doesn't take long to see that's not the only reason, though. "Jacob!" she all but screams. "The curtain is on fire!"_

Stupid candles, anyway. I sigh and cross yet another idea off the list.


	10. Scenario Nine: In the News

Scenario Nine

In the News

It would probably be a good idea to stay away from fire. I had in my list something about putting a proposal in the newspaper like an ad. We didn't usually get the newspaper, but I was sure I could find one for this occasion.

"_Good morning, Jacob," Nessie yawns as she comes into the kitchen. _

_I look over at her and smile. "Good morning, beautiful."_

_Her brow furrows. "Since when do you read the morning paper?"_

_I'm sitting at the table reading the paper with a cup of coffee like a boss. "Since now." I take a drink of the coffee just to show her how old-school I could be._

_She smirks and goes into the kitchen to get herself some breakfast. While she's there, I quickly scan through the pages to find the ad. Please let it be here. Finally, I find it. It's a fairly large ad with hearts all around the border. Inside reads the message:_

Ressenemmee,

Marry Jacob.

_What the ever-living f—_

"_Jacob, do we have any more creamer? I can't find any."_

_I decide to burn the paper instead of showing her the travesty of what I'd paid for._

As they say, if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. I shouldn't rely on someone else to do the dirty work for me. Newspaper, out.


	11. Scenario Ten: A Night in the ER

A/N: So this is the last scenario. There is one more chapter, and I'll post it sometime before I go to bed tonight. Thanks so much for reading! Enjoy!

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Scenario Ten

A Night in the E.R.

I rub my eyes and blink them to stay focused. Maybe a proposal at home wasn't what I needed. I think briefly about going back to where we met, but the old gas station is probably the furthest thing from romantic. Our first date had been to a movie theater, and after considering what could happen to a newspaper ad, I sure as heck don't want to consider anything on a big screen.

I can take the ring to her, I decide. It would be a grand romantic gesture; showing up at the hospital with something she'll never forget.

"_Jacob what are you doing here?" Nessie asks. She doesn't sound upset; she's happy if not a little confused._

_I kiss her and hug her tightly. "I couldn't stay away from you."_

"_Aw, you're so sweet."_

_I take a moment to look her over in her light green scrubs. I am one lucky man. "I have something I want to ask you," I say. I pull her hand gently in the direction of the nurse's station so everyone can witness my epic proposal._

_She smiles brightly. "What is it?"_

_Just as I'm about to sink down to one knee and pop the question, someone starts to yell. Doors open and a doctor and a few nurses rush out of a room I didn't even know was there. Nessie squeezes my hand. _

"_Jake, I'm so sorry. This is going to have to wait."_

_I realize as she all but pushes me out of the way that an ambulance has just come in. I sigh and go out to the waiting room until Ness has a moment so I can say goodbye until her shift is over._

Then again, maybe getting in her way when lives are on the line isn't the best of ideas.


	12. Spontaneous is Best

Spontaneous is Best

There are just too many choices, and I can see too many ways for each one to end in disaster. I grumble to myself and close my notebook. I should probably get some rest and try again tomorrow. I put my notebook away in my school folders where I know Ness won't look for it and delete all of my internet-proposal browser history.

Jane has long since gone home. She left her book on the coffee table like a little sister is known to do, so I put it away for her and go back to my bedroom. Maybe she was right. Maybe I should just ask the question with no preliminary speech or activity. That seemed boring, though, and my Ness didn't deserve boring.

I glance at the clock. It's barely even ten-thirty. Ness won't be home until midnight. I think about staying up to wait for her, but she's compained about me losing sleep before. Besides that, I'm tired and have school in the morning. I get in bed and stare at the ceiling for a while before fatigue finally wins the fight.

The next morning, I wake up with Ness by my side. She's sprawled out and lightly snoring. I smirk to myself and gently kiss her cheek before I get up. I wish sometimes that our schedules let us have more time together, but such is life.

I get up and ready for school. Ness gets up a half an hour after me. We have time to kiss and say goodbye before I leave. At least it's an early night for her, so I'll see her before I go to bed.

My second-graders are excited for the day; it's Wednesday which means we visit the library. Jonah wants to check out two books, so I have to explain that each kid only gets one. It wouldn't be fair for him to get two when everyone else had only one. After the library, we have reading time for fifteen minutes then it's lunch time. The children line up and go to the cafeteria.

I'm excited for the day because Ness usually visits me on Wednesday. She brings me lunch, which is usually whatever she has. Today is no different. She shows up with bag in hand. She's such a looker in her scrubs. She doesn't think they're sexy, but I do. I have to take a moment to appreciate her before I can accept the food she's brought.

She smiles and watches me for a moment while I dig in to the chicken Alfredo made by the hospital. It isn't too bland; it has a little taste to it.

"How's your day so far?" she asks.

I smile through a mouthful of food. "Isgud."

"How many times have I heard you tell your students not to talk with their mouths full?" she asks with mock reproach in her voice.

I swallow before I speak that time. "More than you should keep track of."

She laughs. I love her laugh. It's light and girly but not annoying. She's quiet for a moment, and I remember what I'd been doing the night before. How was I going to ask this woman to marry me? It had to be perfect, because she's perfect.

"Jake?" she asks.

I look up at her. "Yeah?"

She licks her lips and moves around the desk. She sits on the edge of it, all but right in front of me. Her legs are crossed, and her hands are folded neatly on her lap. "Can I ask you something?" She seems hesitant.

I put the bowl down and wipe my lips before I nod. "Of course, Ness; what is it?"

She reaches out, and I put my hands in hers. She clears her throat twice before she meets my eyes. I'm not sure what to think of the look in hers.

"Is everything okay?" she finally asks.

My brow furrows. "Yes, of course."

"Are you sure? Because you've been acting kind of distracted lately. I know I shouldn't bring this up here, but I'm nervous and I hardly have time at home."

I wonder briefly if she knows about all of my failed ideas and attempts at finding the perfect proposal. I look down for a second before I stand up in front of her. She deserves to know the truth, but of course I can't tell her until I give her the ring. "I'm sure everything is fine." I look into her eyes and see real fear there. It hurts my heart to think that she might think I was having second thoughts about our relationship. "I love you, Ness." I lean in and kiss her.

She smiles, but it seems sad. "I love you, too. So you're okay? We're okay?"

I nod and reach into my pocket where I've housed the ring box for the last week. It's only been taken out to be put into whichever pants I was wearing at the time. Before I can stop myself, I pull it out and open it. "I sure hope we're okay, Ness. I don't know what I'd do without you. I've been trying so hard the last week to find the perfect way to ask you to marry me." I show her the ring. Her eyes have watered, but this time she looks nothing but happy.

"Oh, my God, Jake." She slips off the desk and wraps her arms around my neck. "I will."

I hug her tightly. "Really?"

She laughs and pulls back. "Of course!"

"But this isn't at all what I had planned. I mean, I didn't really have anything planned, but I wanted it to be something amazing that you'd remember forever." I frown at the ring. This didn't seem that special.

Ness put her hands on my jaw and made me look at her. "My Jacob, this _is_ amazing. You asked me to marry you. How could anything be more perfect than that?"

How had I ended up with such a remarkable woman? I smile and kiss her again before I pull the ring out and slip it onto her finger. She's able to look at it for a few seconds before the bell rings, signaling the end of lunch.

"I've got to go round up a bunch of kids," I say.

She nods and kisses me one last time. "I've got to get back to the hospital. See you tonight. My fiancé."

I grin. I could get used to hearing that.

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A/N: And there you have it. Jacob finally got the girl. Well, he had the girl, but you know what I mean. Thanks so much to everyone who gave it a chance! I'd love to hear your thoughts!


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